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SUMMER SCHEDULE IN EFFECT!
NOT ON THE AIR ON SUNDAY NIGHTS INTO MONDAY MORNINGS TILL MID-SEPT
 RAVINGS FROM A MAN WHO NEVER SLEEPS... 06/28
Will someone please explain to me why Manuel took Rollins out of the lineup completely?! I could see if it was to give Jason Donald a shot, but for Bruntlett?! All they had to do was drop Rollins down. He has a history of batting well in other spots and he's still the best fielding shortstop in the National League.
 RAVINGS FROM A MAN WHO NEVER SLEEPS... 06/27
It will take an entire column to write about my feelings on the coverage of Whacko Jacko, so let me take a minute to mourn the death of a TRUE Philly legend, WWDB talk show host, Irv Homer. "Evil Irv", as he loved to be called, was anything but. Oh yeah, he might have been nasty towards those who truly deserved it (and you can bet if Irv went after them, they WERE deserving), but I loved Irv. He loved to laugh and loved comics. I was on his show frequently and since Irv did so much charity work, I performed in front of him many times. Extremely bright, but he never lost his bartender roots. I will miss you Irv!
THE 20 FUNNIEST STAND UP COMICS OF ALL TIME!
It's time for another fun hunt! The reason I picked 20 was because back in the comedy club heyday, the Comedy Factory Outlet, my home downtown club, had 5 shows a weekend (with lines around the block to get in) and 4 comics a show. So there you go. Remember, completely ignore film or sitcom work, we are judging these disturbed wackos on standup alone! NOMINATED SO FAR IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER:
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LENNY BRUCE
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LEWIS BLACK
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GEORGE CARLIN
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JOHNNY CARSON
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BILL COSBY
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DAVID CHAPPELLE
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RODNEY DANGERFIELD
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ANDREW DICE CLAY
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PHYLLIS DILLER
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REDD FOXX
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MITCH HEDBERG
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 ORDER YOUR
TWO FUNNY PHILLY GUYS DVD!
MAKES A GREAT GIFT!
CLICK THE POSTER!
LIVE COMEDY SHOWS!
The next awesome TWO FUNNY PHILLY GUYS show starring myself and the legendary Joe Conklin will be at the Borgata on Friday night, July 10th. It's an annual summer spectacular that always sells out, so go to http://theborgata.com and get your tix.
And for those of you who can't make that show, don't miss my next gig at Coffee.Comedy, an intimate BYOB club in the heart of Sea Isle on Sunday night, July 5th. It only seats 100 and I love performing there.. Call 609 263 JAVA for tix. Dan Barry's opening and he's terrific.
TRIVIA APPEARANCES!
 I’m at PJ Whelihans in Maple Shade, NJ for the 5th big year of TUESDAY NIGHT WITH THE PHILLIES! Great prizes for the Legendary 5th inning Quiz. Great Food... Awesome looking servers! Come on out!
I’ll be at Chickie’s & Pete’s in South Philly on Wednesday, July 8th from 5:00 to 7:00 PM for the Phils / Reds dinner and drinking crowd.
QUIZZO!
I'll be at TOM & JERRY'S at 1006 McDade Blvd. in Milmont Park PA every Thursday for Quizzo at 8:00 PM! And... I'll have copies of THE GREAT BOOK OF PHILADELPHIA SPORTS LIST, the book about my Dad, LAST CALL, and the TWO FUNNY PHILLY GUYS DVD with me.
NEW QUIZZO NEWS! I'll be reuniting with my old bud Timmy Fitz for a Quizzo night at the Crest Tavern at 9600 Pacific Ave in Wildwood Crest every Wednesday night starting June 24th at 9pm. Great prizes, $2 Miller Lites and Phils tix for prizes! Go to http://cresttavern.com for more info.
PLUS! ANOTHER Quizzo night start Monday, June 29th 9:00 PM at the Circle Tavern in Avalon. That’s EVERY Monday night for the rest of the summer!
The current production of WEST SIDE STORY that's playing at the Palace is UNFREAKINGBELIEVABLE! Don't miss!
RAVINGS FROM A MAN WHO NEVER SLEEPS... 06/20
No idea how to explain the Phils at home, but I'm getting a real bad feeling about this season...
The hate e-mail that I received over what I considered an innocuous comment regarding the Letterman/Palin "issue" was staggering and deeply depressed and made me a littler nervous...
 Has anyone been to Aaron Copland's house?
Anyone have the Neil Young DVD box set? I need to find out if I wanna shell out that much dough...
I have a Connie Mack seat if anyone wants to buy it. You'll write your check out to Alzheimer's...
Anyone have any Michael Kupperman comics?
I hate pencils that look like pens!
Isn't it wild that McCartney and Brian Wilson were born hours apart?
I love when you see footage of the legendary Bobby Thompson homer and there's litter blanketing the field...
A woman says to her husband. "I bet you $20 I can piss you off and make you happy with one short sentence. The husband says "You're on." The wife say, "You have the biggest cock of all your friends."
RAVINGS FROM A MAN WHO NEVER SLEEPS... 06/16
Here's an article I wrote that will appear in the Sea Isle Times:
 SALUTING OUR UNSUNG MUSICAL HEROES
I couldn't begin to list all that I love about Sea Isle. It's beautiful perfect length beaches. Standing in the middle of Pleasure Avenue between Braca's and Darymple's and realizing that very little has changed about that spot of the planet in decades. "Christmas in July" on 35th st. Waiting in line in the singular most insane Wawa in the world behind women in bikini's buying packs of Parliments (Whoops, I think I've used that line before in a previous article).
The parties. The bike rides. Reading on the beach. Carrying kegs up a flight of steps. Taking a nap on a deck. Playing ball on JFK Blvd. That older than dirt Acme. I don't have time to list all the reasons . You wouldn't have time to read them all.
But what I really love about Sea Isle? What I can't just get enough of? It's not even close. It's the music. The cover bands and acoustic acts that have been leading us in drunk singalongs on sweaty, 100 degree dance floors since some genius thought to themselves, "Geez, I got an idea. Let's add music and beer TOGETHER and see what happens!"
Do you know I listen to more live music between Memorial Day and Labor Day weekend than I do the rest of the year combined? And it's not exactly like I sit at home during the off season watching reruns of General Hospital on the Soap Channel. I go out a lot.
But there's something so unique about live music at the shore. Maybe it's the fact that when you're out at a bar in Sea Isle, you're bumping into friends that you haven't seen since last summer because they are not from the same neighborhood as you. Let's face it, if you are from Northeast Philly and you are at your favorite bar on the Blvd, chances are that most of the crowd in that club at that moment are not from Washington Township, NJ, they're probably from NE Philly like yourself.
When you are down the shore, however, and spilling your vodka and club on some dancing fool next to you, they can be from ANYWHERE. That's the beauty of it.
 Throw in the fact that a high percentage of bar patrons in Sea Isle have WALKED to the club (unlike at "home") and what you have is a mob that can REALLY let loose because they don't have to worry about getting behind the wheel of a car. (Watch those drunks on bikes, however. I was once walking back to my joint via the boardwalk, a little inebriated myself to say the least, when I almost got ran over by a chick driving a tandem bike by HERSELF. Lord knows what happened to the knucklehead who was once on that other seat. Probably thrown off into a dune.)
Sea Isle, I hope you realize, gets the cream of the crop of cover bands from the tri-state area. They always have. The absolute best and I LOVE cover bands. Look, I realize we have to have artists who create these songs to begin with. I get that. I understand that many, many of these awesome musicians in cover bands started out wanting to be bands that record hit records. Some of them still want to be that and maybe will.
In the meantime, however, these bands and solo performers are out there night after night, set after set, song after song, slugging it out, so that you can wake up the next morning and have a wonderful memory. (AND a splitting hangover) Cellphones are abuzz all day.
"Damn, LeCompt ROCKED the Springfield last night!" " I was at LaCosta for Split Decision and it was packed!" "Greengenes did three new U2 songs at the OD last night!" "Brian and Mindy had the whole Carousel singing!" "Yeah, Bstreetband did two songs off the new Bruce last night at Kixx!" "Another great reggae night at Shenanigans last night. Where were you?" "Can you believe it? Those Secret Service dudes ARE STILL ALIVE!"
I also believe that often people take for granted just how terrific these musicians are. These cats can PLAY, believe me. They wouldn't be booked in this town if they couldn't. From the legendary defunct Rage Band to the relatively new (and extremely taleneted) Sub-G, it's a GOAL for these bands to get good enough to play all our top level Sea Isle clubs. Someday, and that day is already here for many reading this, you are going to look back at those hot summer nights dancing your ass off to these bands with as many fond memories as seeing a band at the Spectrum.
So, take the time to clap when the lead singer hits that high note on "Don't Stop Believin'." Take notice when the lead guitarist nails the intro to "Sweet Child of Mine." OK, it's the zillionth time you've heard "Sweet Caroline," but if you drink enough it might sound like the first.
Get out there! Pay the cover! Support live music!
 RAVINGS FROM A MAN WHO NEVER SLEEPS... 06/14
I made some comments about the parking situation at the Mushulu. I got a letter today from someone who works there and I am posting it. When I'm wrong, I'm wrong.
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Big Daddy Graham,
I read your comments about our parking would like to set the record straight.
We do not charge for parking at all. The parking lot is owned by Penn's Landing, and they charge for parking. We do not make a single dollar of revenue off of Penn's Landing's parking lot.
We have attempted to buy the lot many times so that we could offer free parking to our guests, and they have repeatedly declined our offers. As for the comment you made about "their parking jerkoffs were rude on top of it," the parking attendants are employees of Penn's Landing.
We do everything in our power to ensure our guests enjoy their experience at our restaurant, and unfortunately Penn's Landing's Parking lot is out of our control.
If it is any consolation, on busy nights we do offer free valet parking once you are in the lot.
Matthew J. Haedo
Food and Beverage Manager
Do You Moshulu?
www.moshulu.com
RAVINGS FROM A MAN WHO NEVER SLEEPS... 06/09
I have been doing a radio version of BIG DADDY'S BIG LIST on Michael Smerconish's national show and Michael asked me to come up with a list of celebrities who were on the beach 65 years ago for D-Day. With help from my intern Senator Andrew, here's ten interesting names
 Tidbits from the list. Ford was not fighting, he was filming... Spins, of course, is legendary comic Spins Nitely, and his Dad is the only man I have ever met who was on the beach that day... Warden never made it as he broke his leg the night before on a practice jump, but later on in life. as an actor, he portrayed a soldier parachuting... Fairbanks also was not on the beach that day, but served as a decoy commanding a group of PT boats away from the action... Durning was in the first wave and eventually won 3 Purple Hearts and a Silver Star medal... Doohan is "Scotty" from Star Trek... JD was on the beach AND fought in the Battle of the Bulge!
RAVINGS FROM A MAN WHO NEVER SLEEPS... 06/05
 Went to a party the other night for a woman I really like and respect, so this has nothing to do with her, but after all the problems the Moshulu went though, they ought to be ashamed of themselves. I have come to accept downtown restaurants stealing my meter spots with their $18 valet bullshit (although I hate that too), but the Moshulu has a parking lot and they charge you $12 to park! Assholes! Imagine, before you even buy a drink they charge you $12. And their parking jerkoffs were rude on top of it. I will NEVER go there again and you shouldn't either...
When is the last time the Phils have gotten back to back rookie performances like they got from Happ & Bastardo? Seriously, can someone research that for me? And now a complete game from Hamels. It's gonna snow!
Ian Hunter just turned 70. Ouch!
I have a Connie Mack seat I wanna unload. Who ever writes me the biggest check to the Alzheimer's Association gets it. Write me if interested.
 RAVINGS FROM A MAN WHO NEVER SLEEPS... 06/04
If the neighbors of that "alien" (don't wanna insult animals by calling him one) are positive that he raped that 11 year old, then I have NO PROBLEM with what they did...
Anybody know anyone who fixes old record players?
OTA my ass, it's PRACTICE!
The finale of BREAKING BAD was sensational and if Aaron Paul doesn't win an Emmy, I'll... I'll... I’ll eat a bag of cheese curls!
Why does a minor league baseball town like San Diego have a major league team?
The $1.39 Wawa coffee roll is a great bargain!
Anyone have one of those massive Neil Young box sets that just came out?
Drove through a rich neighborhood the other day that had a sign up on a lawn DOG SUBJECT TO MOOD SWINGS
RAVINGS FROM A MAN WHO NEVER SLEEPS... 05/32
 Dag, anyone remember two things I said on Friday morning? That the Cavs could never win a title with such a one man show? That the second interview with Dwane Casey was just the Sixers way of getting a better deal with Eddie Jordan?
Then again, I was wrong and lost a $20 bet with my producer Josh for even DOING Friday morning's show since I thought I was going to be dead before my latest birthday.
By the way, my producer Josh is a terrific kid who's really smart and funny. I call him the King of the Jews off the air. I can see him someday being up on a mountaintop with that big stick in his hand and a red robe calling everyone a bunch of assholes. He's gonna go far in this world, for real...
STAR TREK is a lot of fun...
I love my bare feet on a new carpet...
Maybe I'm gonna be wrong about Lidge and he is gonna bring back his A-Game. Then again, it is the Nationals...
Where do these Ocean Drive jerkoff toll booths get off charging $1.50? Dirtbag! Scumbag! (I just misspelled "scumbag" and it doesn't pop up on spell check)...
 Thanks to my man Anthony P for sending me a version of Yes performing SOMETHING'S COMING from West Side Story.
I'm gonna boil some hot dogs cuz I'm too drunk to do the whole grill thing.
RAVINGS FROM A MAN WHO NEVER SLEEPS... 05/31
What a weekend! Is there anyway better to celebrate a birthday than sitting on a deck getting loaded with close friends? I NEVER get tired of it. NEVER! Good tunes, food, liquor in the greatest town in the world, Sea Isle City.
Now I know nobody handed me this house, I think I worked pretty hard for this tiny walk in closet I call home down here. HOWEVER, don't think for a minute I don't realize just how LUCKY I am to have ANY OF IT! I listen to some of the stuff people complain about sometimes (including me) and I say to myself (to quote Jan Gorham), SHUT THE BLEEP UP!
Thanks to everyone who came over and particularly my wife Debbie and my two beautiful daughters Keely & Ava.
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